Five years ago while pushing a shopping trolley around Asda it hit me. I no longer loved my husband. I suppose really it wasn’t an out of the blue realisation but something that had been occurring in my mind for a long time. Fear had been holding me back from admitting it. Yet right at that moment it surfaced to the front of my mind and I knew that I needed to do something about it. I needed to get a divorce.
All I could see were obstacles, a husband that wouldn’t make it easy for me as he had a lot to lose, three children between the ages of five and ten, a mountain of debt and unemployment loomed as I was working for my husband. However, I remember thinking that it wouldn’t kill me and that I would get through it. Within six months I had leapt into the unknown and moved into a private rental property, got a job and was steadfastly learning the necessary life skills of surviving as a single parent. Paying bills, managing frightful credit card debt, looking after the car, working, ensuring that the children were emotionally coping, running the home, buying furniture, setting up furniture, learning DIY such as unblocking sinks and cutting the grass – of which my first attempt I tottered around in my high heels with the lawn mower. I’ve come a long way since that first attempt but the memory keeps me entertained.
My initial thoughts of it being difficult were an understatement, before anything gets better it usually gets worse and it did. The rental property that I lived in was a complete disaster, I found myself homeless on more than one occasion and I had a landlord that wasn’t prepared to spend money on the already dilapidated property. Gradually it worsened until it became a health hazard. The finalisation of the divorce wasn’t simple and it became a ball of hatred and emotion as debts were much higher than initially believed. Within months I had lost everything and an underlying medical condition surfaced.
I prepared myself for another fall, changed jobs and moved house. We moved into a much smaller house but with far too big a garden. We had no carpets, no curtains and though the house was and still is a pretty and solid house in a village, the décor was outdated and shabby. On a tight budget and with daily living expenses I had a lot on my hands. But I kept optimistic. There were no problems, only solutions and my inner resources kicked in.
During the difficult period I found that I began to thoroughly enjoy myself. I don’t claim to be the best gardener, cook, decorator or handy person but what I have learned I am immensely proud of. I’ve learned how to survive and how to bring a little bit of luxury back into our lives but on a tight budget. People that know me know that I like nice things, like to look good, look after myself and raise my children well. I believe so far that I have achieved this the best that I can.
I would like to share my achievements from during my journey and new achievements that may arise. My blog will share information on aspects of home, gardening, lifestyle, cookery, beauty, fitness, parenting, days out etc… – tips on how to keep it classy when times are difficult.