As you could see from yesterday’s blog post. Things got a little fraught in our household. My daughter had not long came back from a school trip away that lasted five days. She had an amazing time but with school trips there are lots of activities. Then of course children do not want to sleep at night when they are with their friends. We’ve all been there ourselves, I’m sure, so we know what it’s like. To feel that excitement of a school trip away and our new found independence.
She got up this morning after 14 hours sleep. It sort of explained her crankiness and negative behaviour. She’s human, we all do it. I still do it now. Especially at certain times of the month. And I’m 38 and not 11. My boyfriend was joking:
“Yes Shelly, it’s not like you didn’t spend the first year dumping me every couple of months.” Partly out of tiredness and partly out of fear. It’s difficult dating when you are a parent.
So today I asked my daughter to think up a list of positive words that she can relate to. To cut out tiny pieces of paper and write the words on each piece of paper. To guide her I said that it would be easier if she used the alphabet formula, here are her list:
I enjoyed doing this exercise with my daughter as I felt like after our turbulent day that she could focus on the good about herself. I don’t believe as parents that we should hold grudges against our children forever. They need stamping out as soon as possible so that the child moves on with a healthy image about themselves. I’m really impressed with her choice of words. Sometimes in society we are all encouraged to think not about our positive aspects but the negative. I think it’s a shame and it’s certainly not a way that I wish my children’s mind set to develop into.
I asked her to point out what she thinks is her most positive character trait and she pointed to joyful. A lovely word, very accurate and very true.
We’ve also created a jar for times when she feels negative so that she can write those negative words out and try and understand why she is feeling negative. Negativity is an emotion just like the positive but sometimes when we address, we begin to understand and then we can move forward to the opposite word and begin to focus on the more positive.
Does anybody else have techniques that they use after a turbulent day? And maybe the above technique could be something you try on yourself. Chance to remind yourself of your own positive traits.