10593119_10152718161539248_6108013694263729061_nCake and Cocktails

We reach different milestones in our lives when life changes. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst.  Because unfortunately life isn’t happy all of the time.

The milestones start from when we are born.  The first few years we don’t remember but it’s back then that milestones are happening.  Positive or negative it starts in our environment.

  • Birth
  • First smile
  • First tooth
  • First words, plus many more firsts that our parents are excited for us to reach
  • Then we leave our babyhood behind and reach the nursery stage (again a first)
  • First day of Primary school, Secondary school, College, University, New job
  • First boyfriend
  • Marriage
  • Gaining status
  • Gaining money
  • Too many more to list

Life is continually progressing as we experience a series of firsts that can be positive but then along with these there are negative (unpredictable and unpreventable) and cause great grief.

  • Death
  • Divorce
  • Losing friendships
  • Losing money
  • Losing status
  • Plus many more, the list is endless.

Everything we do, everything that happens to us is an experience and normally there is a first time.  Those milestones whether positive or negative are often the start of a new life emerging.  It is cliché but it does appear that life is like a book as we emerge into a new chapter.  Some chapters often last longer than another chapter.  Some chapters happy and some chapters sad.  We might have a happy chapter then all of a sudden a milestone or an experience can occur that will turn the page and we find ourselves in the next unhappy chapter.  Or vice versa.  In an unhappy chapter – but life goes on, it unfolds and it can be quite exciting as something happy happens to move you into a happy chapter.  It is good to hang on in.

Of course nothing is absolute.  During your unhappy chapter it’s good to remember and look around at the good that you do have in life so that you don’t stay in broken mode.  Similarly when life is going good – it’s very rarely perfect.  We just don’t know what is around the corner, good or bad.  The best you can hope for at times is just to balance those experiences out and find good when bad happens.

I’m often told that I’m a positive person.  I don’t believe that I’m positive – I have my share of negative emotions after all I’ve had my share of negative experiences.  It is not healthy to be happy all of the time.  But I try and be creative and find a solution and also recognise that sometimes our problems take a while to solve.  Again, being kind on  and prioritising.  I can be as hard on myself as anybody, most of us want everything now but I do try and look further ahead than just this moment.  Just because  we don’t have everything now it doesn’t mean that we never will but I’m sure going to enjoy the now.  Live for now but look ahead in the sense of putting plans in place – we all need some sort of a plan.

I can feel a change in the air.  The change that happens upon a milestone.  I feel a new chapter opening.  I’ve had a wonderful year this year.  Not in the sense of moving on materially or developing my home. There are many more blogs in the pipeline on those subjects.  But I’ve had a wonderful year in the sense that I’ve enjoyed the end of my studying chapter and done a lot of lovely things with my family and my lovely boyfriend.  I seem to have taken out as much time as I can to enjoy the moment.  The memories have really strengthened bonds.

I feel a change in the air.  I can’t tell fully what it is.  But I feel lighter as a person, brighter and happier – less worry, maybe because I’ve got somebody to share my worries with – perhaps because my work schedule is lighter. Somebody to share my good times with.  Somebody who has my back up no matter what scrapes I get into – somebody who I can totally be free and myself with.  I read a wonderful quote ‘Fall in love with the person who enjoys your madness… Not an idiot who forces you to be normal.”

For that reason I’ve set up a new category on the blog called Cakes and Cocktails.  It will cover book reviews, film reviews, a bit of dysfunction ( I have my periods of madness), being real, theatre reviews, the fun in life, light hearted humour and hopefully I’ll get some short stories on here.  I’m setting up this category because I’ve already started writing these kinds of tales.  Blogging is often about what we are experiencing and what we feel at the time.  It is the place that I’m moving in.  I feel the change in the air and it’s as though this is definitely the place I’m at at present.  It’s a good place to be.  It’s not perfect – hey I nearly got arrested remember, then I got done for speeding, I’m without my car at present and my heating is down but due to be fixed on the 30th November, all of this with three off spring who naturally want Christmas presents and a daughter who needs a school residential paying for.  But I honestly believe that life is good at the minute. I have a sixteen year old who is about to reach a milestone with his GCSE’s and set to achieve some pretty highflying grades – plus he’s 16 – he is now a young adult.  A younger son who is displaying marvellous work ethics but has a great character and a delightful creative, intelligent daughter.

I know that it is good to be a 3 dimensional character and stay true to who you are.  It is good to have that fun side. The side that expresses the more of you that is just partner, just mother, just housekeeper, just employee.  There is no doubt that life is a series of experiences and sometimes those experiences can take us away from who we really are as we follow the society ‘firsts’ sometimes it’s about putting ourselves first.  Recognising our own needs so that we don’t lose who it is that we really are. Quite often as a mother of young children it’s a juggle to full fill our own needs.  We are often last.  But I feel that change in the air.

Let us move forward and eat cake, drink cocktails and be silly. Quite often being silly is what keeps us sane.