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“You do not have to say anything.  But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.  Anything you do say maybe given in evidence.”

Ouch.

My heart lurched in my mouth as I looked at the two broad shouldered, bald headed coppers.  This is one of the few occasions that I’m not actually laughing.  This is serious stuff.

It is a dismal day, grey skies and pouring rain.

I check my wrists.  No handcuffs.  Phew.

“Have I just been arrested?” I ask.

“No.” He replies. “This is a formality. Something that we have to say.”

He passes me the clipboard.  With my details.  All my details are there.  I’m sat wondering whether I will have a mug shot taken.

Name, address.  It was all there.

“If you sign where it says signature.”

I quickly scribble my signature.  What else can I do?  Do I need a Lawyer?  I need to get out of the car and fast.  I feel that part relief that I haven’t been arrested.  But I mostly feel shamed to be sat in a cop car as cars from my home town whizzed past.

What if somebody I know spots me?  Sat in a Cop car.  I wanted to be in work, not sat in this cop car.

I thought to earlier on in the morning.  Where had the day gone wrong?  I’d got up early, ate breakfast and drank my hot water with slice of lemon.  Kids were all sorted for school.  I was ready for my day – showered, make up on.  I dived out of the house.  Left my phone at home – I wouldn’t be needing it, I told myself.  I wouldn’t be needing it because I never intended to be stranded and car less within 10 minutes.

So I got into the car.  Shit.  The window screen wipers on one side are not working.  I’m not a car mechanic.  I need to get to work.  I’ll be ok.  It’s only drizzling rain.  Pull out of the road and my indicator on the left isn’t working.  Shit.  I need to get to work.  So I drive down the road.  Get stuck in the normal traffic.  The traffic is going slow.  Just as I’m at a standstill.  A knock on the passenger side window.  I pull my window down.

“If you can just pull over to the Eden House Hotel.”  Says the broad shouldered, bald man.  The word POLICE embroidered across his shirt sleeve.  It’s the Police. I inwardly shudder.  I just want to get to work.

I pull over at the hotel and both boys get out of the car to go to school.

I sit waiting.

And that’s how my morning has gone today.  Sat in the back of a cop car.

You do not have to say anything.  But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.  Anything you do say maybe given in evidence.”

I’m not sure whether to laugh at the fact I asked if I’ve been arrested.  Laugh at the thoughts going through my head of “Wow, this is like being on the bill.” Or cry at the shame of having to leave my car at the hotel and walk home to arrive home soaking wet.  Or cry as I await my penalty fine…

One thing is certain.  I would much rather have spent my morning at work.

Lesson learned.  Keep emergency taxi money in the house.  Just in case I have a car problem again.

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