As you may know, my journey with Grey is going fairly slow. I’m clearly not attracted to this mummy porn. However, I was watching MTV and a clip on Fifty Shades caught my eye… Well it wasn’t a clip from the film. It was more a commentary on the film. Apparently, Fifty Shades has humour. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. At just over 100 pages in I had failed to see any humour. That was until my lunch break ten minute reading session. I sit in a café at the local bowling alley, it blasts loud music and I am normally distracted by the music or just being nosey at what is happening around me. But Fifty Shades had grabbed my attention on p.136. Christian and Ana are at it again. She’s a newly popped now ex-virgin with an extremely sore… ahem… But it isn’t going to stop her. Until the day before she’d never even had a sexual urge but she’s unbelievable. She seems to know exactly what to do. She is most definitely a natural and is keen on giving Christian a sex act. She is delighted with it and says:

“He is my very own Christian Grey flavoured popsicle.”

I did laugh out very loud at the table that I was sat and drew attention to a man who was sat at the table in front of me. I was thinking to myself, ‘why are they not selling these popsicles? They’re missing a marketing trick or have Ann Summers started a line of them?’ Indeed if I had the money and I know the phenomenon that Grey is having, I would certainly be investing! The man sat at the table in front of me carries on with his conversation.

I then became conscious of whether he has noticed what book I am reading and worse whether he can see that I’m making notes. I’d never considered what this might look like to outsiders until I was at my Writing Group Busy Scribbling, formerly Barrowby Scribblers. I was sat amongst five male writers, one of them is a new member and standing for a seat with the Labour Party at the next election.  We were discussing third person and first person narrative. I’m a big fan of first person. One of the writers chirped up that Fifty Shades is written in first person. So I responded and felt down into my handbag:

“I’ll tell you, it’s in my bag!”

It caused much laughing amongst the members when I was flicking through pages and they noticed notes. It could and should have turned me Fifty Shades of pink…